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    Thursday, November 29, 2007

    2%!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    We got the results back from Cole's bone-marrow aspirate yesterday, and the news is wonderful. He's at 2%! This means that only 2% of the cells they pulled out of his bone marrow were cancerous! To give you perspective, he was 85% when he was diagnosed. So, in two weeks of chemo, his numbers have fallen 83%.

    This officially classifies Cole as a rapid responder, which I believe means his treatment will be easier. We are way excited about this, obviously!

    Also, we came home from the hospital yesterday. Getting out of the hospital is a wonderful thing to me, though Dalynn feels the pressure from it rather keenly. When we're in the hospital, the nurses and doctors manage Cole's meds and care, whereas, at home, Dalynn does. She does a fantastic job, but that doesn't lessen the burden she feels. I honestly believe that this is part of what makes her such a good nurse and mother.

    A little update on the infection Cole had. It wasn't staph, it was strep. It was only cultured once, so most likely it is gone from his system, but he was sent home on IV antibiotics (which Dalynn administers) as a precaution/treatment.

    His picc line is fine, and will not have to be removed right now. The medical team, though, is already saying he will need a porta-cath, which doesn't bother me too much. He's going to need one on account of him being such a hard stick, and on account of his dreading being stuck.

    A porta-cath is a central line that resides under his skin. It's implanted through surgery. It's a kind of sub-dural permanent IV in his upper chest. Before we go to clinic, we can put a cream on the skin over the porta-cath which will numb the skin. Then, when the nurse at clinic inserts the IV, which of necessity will have to penetrate his skin over the porta-cath, he won't feel it. It's a neat little system and is one that I hope they can use on Cole. Because of his age, and size, there's a slight concern that he can't have one, but right now, the general consensus is that he will be able to.

    Of course, that's still a few weeks down the line. For now, he'll continue to receive his treatment through his picc.

    Tuesday, November 27, 2007

    A Haircut for Cole

    We had Cole's hair cut today. Christy Montoya came to the hospital and brought along her clippers and scissors. She gave Cole a very handsome buzz-cut of which he is not a big fan, yet.

    See, his hair has always been a comfort to him. When he would get sleepy, he would always reach up and play with his hair. When he was worried, he would play with his hair. He started playing with hair as a baby, when he would reach up and play with Dalynn's hair while watching Praise Baby before going to sleep at night.

    Unfortunately, cancer has taken that from him, at least for now. We know that it'll grow back, but it started falling out in clumps and we decided it would be better all around to get as much out at one time as we could. It was a very hard decision, but one that had an inevitable end. His hair was coming out one way or another.

    Today was not, however, all sadness. My roommate from college, Jerry, who also had ALL when we were going to school together, came to visit us from Greenville, NC. When it came time to tell our close friends that Cole had ALL, Jerry was the one who took it the hardest. The fact that he had been through this, and knew what he was crying about was not lost on me.

    However, he has proven to have extremely valuable insight into what Cole is going through. He's helping us understand some of the discomfort that Cole is experiencing, like the hunger from the steroids and the emotional ups and downs. He's preparing us for the bouts of nausea and other things that can happen, and he's giving us the beginnings of real hope, as he helps us see that it's best to take it day to day, and not all at once.

    It was especially good for me, as well, because I was able to get out of the hospital for a while with Jerry. I had not realized til last night how much of a toll this was taking on me, and the Lord knew just what I needed when Jerry said he was coming up for the day.

    Dalynn and I are starting to see that we have to keep ourselves in top shape, and we're starting to learn how best to do this. For me, staying at the hospital 24/7 is not necessarily the best thing to be doing, but it's something that she doesn't find so onerous. I also realized today that she has the right idea by taking strength from close friends, and that I'm going to have to open up to my close friends more.

    All in all, it was a good day to learn things, though it was also a sad day with Cole's haircut. We have Cole's procedures tomorrow, and we'll be finding out if he is a rapid responder, so get your pray on!

    Sunday, November 25, 2007

    Give Blood For Cole

    OK, here's something you can all do. You can go donate blood and platelets for Cole. The way that things basically work is that you give blood or platelets, and Cole gets a "credit". When he needs blood or platelets, we get a discount for the unit. It allows you to give specifically, and we get a good break for it! I like it, personally.

    This is an exchange program, not a direct donation. You may donate at any Red Cross chapter. Here's the info.

    Cole's info:

    Name: Cole Michael Rollins
    Birth date: 11/1/2005
    Type: O positive
    Hospital: Children's Hospital of the King's Daughters
    Doctor: William Owen

    Here are some rules:

    • No aspirin or antibiotics 48 hours before giving
    • No overseas travel within 1 year
    • No new tatoos within 1 year
    • Eat a lot of iron before you give, so go have a steak

    Let me know if that's not enough info.

    Fanatical About Poop

    Gee, I guess I was pretty discouraged yesterday, but I think rightly so. However, the response to my discouragement has been overwhelming and I want you all to know that I appreciate you all for your encouragement! At the very least, I now feel way more encouraged than I did yesterday, despite that things have not been perfect today.

    A couple things happened today. The most major is that they cultured Cole's picc line and found that he has a staph infection, which means it could be MRSA. This is not catastrophic, however, and they are already treating it as aggressively as possible. They have said there is the chance that they will have to remove the line, but that does not seem likely right now. The staph infection is the most likely cause of his fever yesterday, but he has not been running a fever for several hours, now.

    Also, part of his picc line (just the part that is not in the vein) came unclipped and was exposed. Not a big deal, and it had the added benefit of working better once Joel, our VAT angel in disguise here the last few days, changed his dressing. It used to be that whenever Cole bent his arm, his picc line would occlude. Now, however, he seems to have full range of movement in his arm with no occlusion. This is wonderful.

    Last, but certainly not least, Cole has had 5 bowel movements in the past 24 hours, the last of which was watery (diarrhea)! This means he will probably not have to have an NG tube placed in him and have his bowels flushed with Go Lightly! This makes me so happy, I'm worried I'm becoming fanatical about poop!

    So, even with the news that he has a staph infection and that we'll likely be here for several days, today has not been all that bad. Certainly better than yesterday! Once again, thank you all for your encouragement, and please continue to pray.

    Prayer Requests:
    • That Cole's staph infection will clear up quickly and that they will not have to replace his picc line.
    • That we can soon go home.

    Saturday, November 24, 2007

    In the Hospital Again

    Well, we're in the hospital again. Cole was severely constipated today, and after talking with the doctor twice, he told us to come to the hospital. They admitted Cole after taking some x-rays. He is officially FoS. I'll leave it to you, my witty reader, to figure out what that means. :P

    So, here we are again. To add fuel to the fire, Cole now has a temperature, so we would have been here either which way.

    They're going to put an NG tube in (in his nose) and pump him full of "Go Lightly", which I'm sure is a euphimism. This will, presumably, make him "Go Lightly" for a while, thus clearing out his bowels. The whole process sounds unpleasant to me, and I'm assured it is.

    They're going to culture his picc line to see if it's infected. Also, right now, his picc line isn't drawing easily, so they're having a problem getting blood out of his picc line. These are obviously things we don't want, as either could mean having to put in a new picc. Not a horrible thing, but definitely not an easy thing for Cole.

    Let me share a few thoughts about being in the hospital, now. I'm tired of being here, and I'm tired of meeting and being polite to new people. I'm tired of listening to Cole cry and become distraught when every new person walks through the door. I'm not tired of Cole, mind you, I'm just tired of having to comfort him through all the new people coming in that he doesn't know. I'm tired of telling him that "it's OK", when, really, it's not. I'm tired of telling him "almost done" when I know that once they finish this procedure, they'll just have to do another soon anyways.

    To add to matters, we just found out that someone screwed up in the ED and didn't treat his picc line correctly, thus causing it to clot off. They're going to have to start an IV to get him his much needed antibiotics and platelets.

    This day has sucked.

    Friday, November 23, 2007

    Thanksgiving and Results

    We had Thanksgiving yesterday, and it was wonderful. Literally everything was provided for us. Our neighbor across the street fried us the best turkey I've ever had, 3 different neighbors dropped off desserts, and my family (aunt/mom/dad) provided all the fixins. I don't know if it was just the shear blessing or not, but it seems to me that it was the best Thanksgiving food ever. I ate 'til I hiccuped! It was truly wonderful.

    The day was made all the better when Cole took a poop! It was huge. A 12 wiper, at the minimum!

    Cole went to clinic today, and he got some fluid and some blood. He's not back from clinic yet (Gary went with Dalynn and Cole), but I'm hoping he'll feel better once he's had some blood. I spent part of the day at clinic, and he was pretty tired. He was also tired yesterday. A lot of times, though, getting blood ups his energy levels, so here's hoping!

    We got his bone marrow biopsy results back, and they were good, but not where we were praying they would be. He has 22% blasts (cancer cells) in his marrow as of Wednesday. To give you perspective, he had 85% blasts when he was admitted to the hospital. That's a marked improvement, even if it isn't the magic 5% we've been praying for.

    We're praying that he be 5% by this Wednesday coming up. If he is, he'll be considered a rapid responder. If he's a rapid responder, then we're pretty sure his treatment will be easier. I say "pretty sure" because they haven't specifically stated this, but they keep talking about him being a rapid responder being a good thing. Our nurse, Teresa, was very positive about him reaching this number by Wednesday.

    This also means he'll have another bone marrow aspirate this Wednesday coming up. Since he's sedated, these procedures aren't that bad. Only side-effect so far has been some tenderness from where they take the biopsy.

    Something both sweet and sad happened this morning. Gary and I were in the kitchen fixing Cole his 3rd breakfast when Cole asked for some milk. I responded with "okey-dokey-cala-ma-jokey", a nonsense phrase I use sometimes. As I was turning to pour the milk, Cole made a noise. I wasn't sure what it was, so I looked up quickly. Turns out he was laughing. It had been so long since I heard him laugh that I didn't know what it was. :'( It was good to hear him laugh, but it underscored for me how difficult things have been recently.

    Here are some things to pray for:

    • That Cole have less than 5% blasts in his bone marrow by this Wednesday (the 28th of November).
    • That Dalynn and I will get some much needed rest. Cole has been waking up at night about every 3 hours to eat, and it's starting to take a toll on both of us, but Dalynn, especially. The massive appetite is a side-effect of the steroids he's on, so they'll be with us for til he's through induction.
    • That the Lord will orchestrate and provide for continued care for Logan while we attend clinic. My mom is with us through induction, but she can't be here forever, so we're going to have to have some kind of game plan soon.
    • That Cole's treatment will continue to go well, that Cole will be healed, and that he will have more really good days, including more laughter.
    Some praises:

    • Logan is an amazingly awesome baby. He took to a bottle basically the first time he was offered one (thank you Sara Beth!) and he's not batted an eye lash when he's supplemented with formula.
    • We've had a wonderful Thanksgiving holiday with Dalynn's family.
    • The care Cole is receiving is excellent and the people that are giving him his care are awesome. Everyone is so concerned not just about Cole's treatment, but about our comfort, as well. The nurses, especially, are wonderful.

    Wednesday, November 21, 2007

    NPO All Night

    Cole was NPO from 12 am last night til his procedures today. He had a bone marrow biopsy, a spinal tap with chemo and his picc line dressing changed. All of this was under anesthesia. NPO means "Nothing by mouth". I asked Dalynn what it was an acronym for, but she gave me one of those looks that says, "don't ask silly questions". In other words, it's nurse-speak!

    Cole woke up at 4 am asking for eggs. Bless his heart, he continued to be starved til his procedures. He woke up from the anesthesia asking for food! He proceeded to eat mac-n-cheese, a cheeseburger (a few bites, anyways), hummus and carrots, a couple glasses of milk and doritos. He had dorito cheese all over his fingers and a smile on his face.


    The preliminary results of his procedures were that he had drastically fewer cancer cells in his bone marrow. We don't know if he's going to hit the magic 5%, but we're definitely hopeful.

    EDIT:

    I had more for this post, but something happened when I posted it.

    Monday, November 19, 2007

    Clinic, New Friends and POOP!

    We had our first clinic today, and it was a wonderful day (with one exception). For those of you that don't know, clinic is where Cole is treated as an out-patient. He gets fluids, chemo and minor procedures done there. If he needs blood, he can get it there. It's a great alternative to being stuck in a hospital room and the kids seem to love it.

    Clinic is a very busy place. Everyone hangs out in a very comfortable common room, with little "bays" off to the side, which are first come first serve. There is a play room with tons of toys off the back of the room and a row of TVs with Playstations hooked up to them (which can also be used for playing videos). The patients get their meds/chemo while sitting in some very comfortable recliners, and the parents get chairs off to the side of the recliners. The bays are little semi-private rooms that anyone can grab and what we're going to grab next time, if we can. Above all, community and comfort seem to be stressed there.

    We arrived bright and early at 8:15 am and sat down to see how things would go. We had a mountain of bags, and I felt a little silly with them all, once the other folks started arriving. None of them had a laptop bag, bookbag, breast pump and diaper bag. Oh well, I'll know better for next time, though I don't see how we'll reduce the number, hehe.

    Early on, we noticed another little boy motoring around. His name is Charlie, he's 2, like Cole, and could be Cole's brother! He has the same color hair and eyes as Cole and the same type of frame, but he's taller. His parents are named Angela and IV (as in, the 4th). They turned out to be a very needed and comforting source of information today.

    Charlie has a very rare type of cancer, one that only about 80 people world-wide have. There are many side-effects, but he's recovering better than expected. He's in his maintenance phase now.

    We spent most of the day talking to Charlie's parents. They pointed us in the direction of some assistance programs and they talked about how they coped with things. It was awesome to meet them and Charlie. We exchanged info with them, and hopefully this'll be the start of a good friendship between all of us. Charlie was certainly hip on sharing his food with Cole!

    The day went quickly and Cole got a lot of fluid. The more he got, the better he seemed. At lunch, he started asking for food, "Daddy, I want some potato chips!" It was the first whole sentence I'd heard him speak in a few days. After that, he and Charlie set out on an eating bonanza!

    Then, the one unfortunate thing about this day occurred. One of the chemo patients coded and didn't make it. It's a very rare occurrence in clinic, so much so that our nurse today had never seen it happen (she's been there two years). The staff was devastated, to say the least.

    When the patient started coding, they asked the rest of the patients to stay out of the common area and in rooms. First, for the number of staff that were running the code, and later for respect for the family and the body. It was a sobering reminder that nothing in this is guaranteed.

    We went into a room with Charlie and his parents and spent the afternoon watching Diego and eating.

    After almost everyone in the clinic had left, Cole pooped! He also started chatter-boxing away and acting like his old self. It was wonderful!

    We left out of clinic around 6 pm. It was a long day, but well worth it.

    When we got back home, Cole tore into a package of toys someone had sent him and ran around the house for the first time in over a week. Having our healthy-acting little boy back was a wonderful treat to end the day.

    Sunday, November 18, 2007

    Joy at the Hospital, Part 2

    Here's the video that I had intended to upload the other day. This is Cole and Grammy watching Praise Baby at the hospital.


    Home

    We came home from the hospital last night. Cole was excited about going home and perked up. We did have one hiccup in that we had accidentally sent our keys home with my mom (to our house). However, they sent my aunt out straight away with our keys, and she took some of our stuff home, so it all worked out fairly well.

    Let me tell you, when you live out of a hospital room for 5 days, you can accumulate quite a bit of "stuff". We had a shelf as a pantry, our clothes and a ton of toys for Cole. It took 2 wagons (the big 2 kid Radio Flyer ones) to get everything downstairs. We made a bed in another wagon and put Cole in it, so he got to ride a wagon part way home! Packing up and leaving was easier than I expected it to be.

    Getting home was incredible. Our church had arranged for some folks to come clean before we got home, and some of my family came over to deliver food and help out with the cleaning. Everything was bright and shiny and the fridge was packed.

    Our church also has arranged for meals which we can freeze and put in the freezer, then pull out and cook when we want. They're gourmet, no less! We'll get 12 of them, which is more than enough to carry us through 3 weeks, if not 4. Our neighbors are also delivering food, so we are doubly blessed.

    It was also amazing to sleep in a real bed, our bed, again. Dalynn and I slept so well, as did Cole. He wanted to sleep on the couch, so he got to sack out there with Grammy next to him. We all got some much needed sleep.

    Cole has been taking it easy since we got home. He's not doing much, which is to be expected. He mainly sleeps and occasionally watches TV. Today he asked specifically to sleep in his bed for a bit, which he did for about an hour. Our home-health nurse, who came for the first time today, said that it can usually take 3 to 4 days for children to re-acclimate to home after the hospital.

    All in all, we are ecstatic to be home and it is such a relief after spending so much time at the hospital. Our home was the most beautiful I've ever seen it when we walked through the door and all of our basic needs were met with a flourish. Thank you all for so much blessing in this time of trouble!

    Prayer Requests:

    • That Cole will re-acclimate to home quickly, and that he will find it more restful and peaceful than the hospital.
    • That Cole will poop. He hasn't since Thursday night. This is to be expected, as it is a major side-effect of Vincristine, but it would certainly be best for him to have regular bowel movements.
    • That Dalynn and I will learn all what we must learn to take care of Cole effectively, and learn it quickly.
    • That we will establish a new routine quickly, so that everyone can settle in and feel comfortable.
    • That God will continue to provide for all of our needs in such an amazing fashion.

    Saturday, November 17, 2007

    The Beginning

    Today's blog is from Dalynn. This is an email she sent out, and I wanted to share it with everyone else. It's a little of the story of how we came to find out that Cole has leukemia.

    Dalynn's email:
    ----------------------------------------------

    Hello everyone! I hope you all are doing well!

    Our family has had a Crazy month and a half from picking pumkins, playing in the leaves of fall, getting Cole's first haircut, Cole dressing up as a chicken and Logan an egg (of course) and Cole turning 2. But even crazier than all those things has been the past two weeks of our lives, which has left me writing you this update from the hospital. So here is our story.

    Starting 11-30-07 Cole and Logan starting getting sick. We took them to the doctor that Friday and both the boys had crupe and Cole also had and ear infection. We treated Cole with 2 injections of Rocephin and another injection of a steroid, in hopes that Cole would be able to make his 2nd birthday party on Sat., that however did not happen. We also treated Cole with an oral antibiotic for his ear infection. Logan received an oral steroid and both boys were doing okay. Then Monday Cole starting getting very tired again, on Tuesday he woke up with blood caked around his mouth and this nasty blood blister thing in his mouth. He also had started limping on one leg, to the point he would sometimes only scoot himself across the floor instead of walking. We call the doctor's office regarding his limp and they thought it might be injection sight pain, so we continued to treat him with Motrin.

    On Wed. we had Cole's 2 year well baby check at the doctor's office, which he was sick at. When I undressed him for him to start his workup at the doctor's office I saw this huge bruise on the back of Cole's left leg, which was the leg with the limp. And you know paranoid nurse mommy's mind starting spinning because I had no explaination for this bruise. So as soon as the doctor walked into the room I said "I need you to know I think my child is dying of cancer or a blood clot". He assess Cole and found he had a herpes virus in his mouth, which would explain Cole's symptoms, but not the bruise, however Cole's hemaglobin at the appointment was 10.8, which is normal. So we decided just to watch his bruise.

    On Thursday Cole broke out into a petetchiae rash on his forehead, which spread to his groining on Friday and late Friday afternoon Cole spiked another fever. He also started having nose bleeds every night. I had called the doctor's office on Friday about the rash and fever, but the nurse said it was probably okay and since it was 4:45pm, she said just to treat his symptoms. By Sunday night Cole was starting to look green. On Monday we went for blood work and follow-up with the doctor.

    Our doctor who is always running late (because he is amazing and spends time really listening and taking care of his patients) was in our room immediately. He had also called us before we arrived to talk to us about the blood work, but I had been away from my phone and got the message as I was walking into his office. So the doctor comes in and the blood work is not good. Our doctor, Dr. Wruble, who is a man of faith, tells us he thinks based on Cole's bloodwork that he has luekiemia, maybe not, but the hematologist at Children's Hosptial for the Kings Daughters is waiting for us.

    So Monday we were admitted to the hosptial for Cole to receive a blood and platelete transfusions and to diagnosis luekiemia. Monday night we found out Cole definitely had luekiemia and we just needed to have the bone marrow biopsy to determine what type. Cole had the bone marrow biopsy on Tuesday with a spinal tap, which they also injection chemo into his spinal fluid and he receive a picc line. Cole is a trooper!! It was determined late Monday evening that Cole has ALL Pre-B, which is Acute Lymphoblastic Luekiemia with B cells. This is the most common in kids and has an 80-85% cure rate. Also there were no cancer cells in his spinal fluid. These were all Praises and answers to prayers!!!

    Today he received more blood and plateletes, as well as Vincristine, which is chemo and Dexamethasone, a steroid. He has done amazingly well and is so strong. I am so proud of my precious little boy! Today we went and played in the play room, which they have to close down just for him, because he is neutropenic. Nuetropenic means he doesn't have the cells to fight off infection. He also had some really bad body pain from the chemo, but we prayed and others have been praying and hours later he wanted Cherrio's with milk and 2 spoons. You gotta love a two year old.

    So what a whirlwind!!! But that is why my subject is Calling ALL PRAYER WARRIORS because we are in desparate need of your prayers for our preious little boy. Our specific requests are that Cole responds to treatment within 8-15 days and has less than 5% of cancer cell left when the bone marrow biopsy is repeated on the 8 or the 15 day. This would then put Cole in the rapid response category. Second is the side effects of chemo. There are many, many, many, many side effects and we just pray they will be few for him!!!!!! We also pray for wisdom for decisions about up coming treatments.

    So many of you have already been praying and for that Michael, Cole, Logan and I are all SO Thankful!! We have heard your prayers and felt them! We love you all and thank you for your prayers, your love and your support!!

    I will attach our picture website for you guys to see our fun filled days fall.

    http://picasaweb.google.com/michael.rollins

    love ya lots
    dalynn

    Friday, November 16, 2007

    Sugarcoat

    So, I have come to the decision that I won't sugarcoat how things are going with Cole. It's tempting, to strive to have a profound, upbeat blog on a regular basis that will make folks feel all warm and fuzzy about how Cole is doing. But, after today, I just can't do that. I do hope that things will tend to be upbeat, and that as a side-effect, I can be profound, but I think that my ultimate aim should be a window into how things really are.
    Today was long. And we saw one of the major side-effects that the doctors have been talking about, which took me by immense surprise.
    Cole is taking a steroid called Decadron (my spelling may be off). It has a side-effect of intensifying hunger immensely. Now, in a chemo regimin, that doesn't sound so bad, does it? You want them to eat, and not waste away (which is the horror story you always hear). But, I found out today that that side-effect could be very bad indeed.
    See, Cole was insanely hungry today, but he didn't really want anything we had. Everytime we'd ask him if he wanted something, he'd respond "Something else." He got to the point where he was almost inconsolable, wanting something to eat, frustrated that he couldn't find anything he really wanted. We spent several hours trying to get him to eat anything.
    Add to this the worry that Decadron can cause water retention due to an increased appetite for salty foods and that it can cause diabetes if they get too much sugar. Everytime I'd feed him something, I wondered in the back of my head if I should be. It was horrible.
    The day was not helped out by the fact that Cole was once again anemic and had a low platelet count. He got platelets and red blood cells most of the day (1 unit of each), which takes 2 to 3 hours per unit. During this time, his vitals are checked every 15 minutes at the start, and pretty frequently after the first hour. One of his hunger attacks happened in the middle of his platelets. Also, Cole hates having his vitals taken (or pretty much anything done).
    The one bright spot in the day was when Cole was given Versed (once again, my spelling may be off). It's a happy drug that was given to him so that he wouldn't be anxious during his pic-line dressing being changed. He was a little chatter-box for a couple of hours, and even gave the VAT team member that changed his dressing an impromptu high-five (along with the nurse and Dalynn and I) when he had finished changing his dressing.
    Jill Klaiber came to visit during this time and brought us some apple crumble cake, which Cole devoured, then said it was "very yummy". This, of course, made Jill's day! Our main thought afterwards was that it was like Cole returning to his normal self for a little while. It was wonderful.
    On the up side, also, is that they are saying we can probably go home tomorrow. Cole will get his 3rd chemo drug tomorrow by injection and then we'll know if we can go home. Pray that we will be able to, as a return to some normalcy would be awesome.
    --
    Photos: http://picasaweb.google.com/michael.rollins
    Blog: http://michael-rollins.blogspot.com/

    Thursday, November 15, 2007

    Joy at the Hospital

    Note: I had intended on posting a movie of Cole and Grammy watching Praise Baby, but alas, I can't post videos on the hospitals network. Drat. I'm going to publish this anyways, and maybe save the video til later.


    It seems like the hospital is a pretty dreary place, but that's not the case. They have an amazing play-room that Cole can get all to his self. It's so cool that I want to play in it! It has an awesome train table and more cars than you can shake a stick at. They have play medical stuff, musical keyboards and ramps that you can send the cars down. Cole's been in there once already, and the hospital staff is chomping at the bit to get him in there again.


    Then there are family and friends. This video is of Cole watching Praise Baby with his Grammy on Grammy's iPod. It's one of his favorite things to do. He loves it, that's for sure.


    We also have plenty of videos that we and friends have brought, and Cole spends most of his day watching these videos. We probably have around 30, which is awesome. The hospital also has some we can use. Obviously, there's a DVD player in the room.


    The hospital staff is also quite amazing and incredibly helpful. They are always asking what more they can do for us, and they seemingly delight in getting any little thing we need. There are Child Life Specialists, who specialize in caring for the children and the family and thier mental health and play time. They are amazingly helpful.


    So, all in all, it's not a bad place to be, and Cole is enjoying himself as much as he can right now.

    Wednesday, November 14, 2007

    If you can?

    So, I'm praying tonight, and I am suddenly reminded of the story in Mark where Jesus heals the boy who "had a mute spirit" that caused him to have seizures. Check out Mark 9:14-31. It's the story where the father says "help my unbelief".

    Besides being at the "unbelief" part, where I doubt the power of God and his sovereignty, I was struck by what Jesus says to the father first:

    (Mark 9:22b, the father) "But if you can do anything, take pity on us and help us." (Mark 9:23, Jesus) "If you can?" said Jesus. "Everything is possible for him who believes." (Mark 9:24, the father) Immediately the boys father exclaimed, "I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!"

    I can hear Jesus now, "Psshhh! If you can?"

    Jesus is plainly saying that it's not a matter of if. He can. And as I was struck by this, I was motivated to pray boldly, while asking the Lord to help my unbelief.

    Cole got his first dose of chemo tonight, and after an hour or so he was in some discomfort. It was hard to watch, and I was praying to the Lord to ease his discomfort due to chemo. But, after I read this, I was moved to pray something more. I asked the Lord to remove his discomfort.

    Seriously, if God can ease it, why can't he remove it completely? Why shouldn't I pray boldly?

    I'll tell you why I wouldn't pray boldly. I'm afraid. I'm afraid that the Lord isn't going to answer my prayers. I'm afraid that I'll have to sit by, helpless, as my son suffers. I'm afraid that I can't effect any of this, but that I'm just a bystander. I am afraid.

    And that's where my unbelief comes in. That's why the father asked the Lord to help his unbelief. I might have enough belief right now to pray for this, but will I in a day, or a week, or a month? When I'm faced with my son's pain, will I have enough faith to pray boldly again?

    I won't have enough belief. I've found the limits of myself. So, I must go to the Father to ask Him for the thing that I need to ask for the thing that I need. In essence, I'm asking the Lord to be my strength, from start to finish in this.

    So, join with me in asking the Lord, boldly, for a removal of Cole's side-effects from chemo. And, while you're at it, ask for complete healing for Cole. Let's approach the throne of God boldly.

    And, if boldness isn't in your diet for the day, as I'm sure mine won't be often, ask the Lord to be your belief for you.

    Once I prayed this, with my dad and Dalynn, Cole's discomfort started to disappear. It was right on time with a dose of Tylenol he had gotten, but I consider it no less amazing or wonderful. Have you ever heard of Tylenol being a great pain-killer in the face of cancer and chemo?

    In no time, Cole was asking for cheerios, then some milk, then two spoons, one for each fist to eat his cheerios with! It was the most substantial thing he ate all day, and it blessed me and warmed my heart to watch.

    Leukemia

    Surely, this only happens to other people... But, Dalynn and I had been wondering if something was up for a couple of weeks. Course, you never want to even entertain the thought that your kid has cancer.

    But, he does. Cole has Leukemia. I wonder if you're supposed to capitalize that?

    So, there's the bad. Here's the good.

    Cole has the most common and treatable form that they see at CHKD (where we are). It's called ALL, Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia. It's treatable mainly in outpatient over a period of 3.5 years. There generally isn't a need for a bone-marrow transplant. We'll probably be here in the hospital for a week and a half, and they're talking about maybe sending us home this weekend (yay!).

    That's all for now, but I'll try and get up some more specific stuff later on.

    Tuesday, November 6, 2007

    Toddlers and Robots



    I thought this was awesome. I can totally see Cole running around hugging a robot!

    Facebook/MySpace and Privacy



    So, I don't have a Facebook or MySpace account. If I was going to get either, I'd go with Facebook (it seems more upscale and professional). That's not to say that I would, though.

    I don't want to rule it out completely, but I don't see a lot of advantage for me in having a Facebook account. From here on out, let's call it SN (SN = Social Networking).

    I think the thing that has always gotten me about SN sites is that you are placing lots of personal info out there for anyone to look at. There is no expectation of privacy when you use SN. None. I just can't imagine that that's a good or smart thing.

    In the video I embedded, the guy they interview, Clay Shirky, talks about no existing "social contract" to govern the use of SN information. An example of a social contract is how it's "rude" to eavesdrop on someone's conversation even when they're in a public place. It's "frowned upon".

    How does that play out practically? Your boss can see what you're doing, or a potential employer. What if that info contributes to your eventual firing (or being denied a job) because of perceptions? Further, once the info is out there, how do you contain it? What makes it worse is that the absence of a social contract means that this isn't even remotely off-limits. There's no brake on how people can use this information to perceive you.

    So, for me, I just don't think that I want to run the risk of having something out there that can shape how people perceive me that I can't control. Granted, I can't control how people perceive me in real life, but there's no need to toss more grenades out there.

    This does, however, make me wonder what the benefits of SN really are in a practical way. There must be some kind of motivation that I'm missing, or else millions of folks wouldn't be doing it. I'm sure I'm not operating with the whole picture. Maybe I should find out, but I don't want to do it with my real info.

    Maybe I should create a fake Facebook account...

    Friday, November 2, 2007

    Like Mother Like Son

    Cole has been sick for the last few days, which has lead to a very cranky household. He's not been sleeping well (if at all) and this has lead to some tough parenting.

    One of Dalynn's main concerns is that she doesn't want Logan to get sick. Therefor, she's been trying to keep them separated as much as possible, even going so far as to designate "Cole areas" (the couch) and "Logan areas" (the recliner).

    Well, last night Cole woke up, noticed that his mommy was not in bed (Cole's been sleeping with us) and wanted to go downstairs to see her. I fought it, but eventually gave in and brought him downstairs to see Dalynn (who was nursing Logan).

    Cole naturally wanted his mommy to hold him but Dalynn had to tell him no. He was sent back to me (now on the couch) with a bit of crying.

    Fast forward to this morning, when Cole is eating breakfast in his high-chair. Dalynn had just put Logan down and came into the kitchen to love on Cole a little. Well, Cole was having none of it! As she bent down to kiss him, he imperiously pointed to the door and told Dalynn, "Go!"

    He did this twice! He was not interested in having anything to do with his mommy!

    Dalynn had to explain to him the concept of forgiveness three times (in a very loving, reasonable sort of way) before Cole would have anything to do with her.

    When it was all over, Dalynn looked up at me and said something like, "I can't believe he holds a grudge like that!"

    I simply responded, "He's obviously your son."

    Thursday, November 1, 2007

    WoW and Addictions


    http://view.break.com/390565 - Watch more free videos

    So, I saw this video the other day. I thought it was both funny and disturbing.

    Funny cause I've been there. Not with Halo, but with WoW. So, I can relate.

    Disturbing cause I've been there.

    I guess what has me posting this today is a kind of confession. I still keep up with some of the folks I played WoW with. I made some "good" friends when I played WoW. That is to say, I made friends with folks that I enjoyed spending time with online and who understood my obsession with the game. They obsessed over the game, too.

    I still talk to a lot of these folks, either via forums or IM. But, I noticed something yesterday: When I talk to the ones that still play the game, we don't talk about anything but the game. When I talk to the ones that have moved on from the game, we can talk about other things, but I don't talk to them as much.

    Further, I still marginally enjoy talking about the game. I still keep up with the patches and changes that Blizzard makes and I can still relate when folks tell me what kind of "problems" they are having in-game. It still fascinates me what I could be doing in this mythical world.

    I guess the question is, should I be worried that I still take an interest in this game?

    Right now, I don't think so. I'm not obsessing over it as I used to (when I played) and I do get tired of talking about it when the conversation lasts more than about 10 minutes. Therefor, to me, it seems like it's a "normal" or "average" interest. It's when it becomes obsessive that I feel I need to worry.

    Beyond that, I don't see it becoming an obsession again. I follow football more "obsessively" than I follow WoW. I definitely spend more time watching football! But, football doesn't consume my life, it's merely a passing interest.

    So, is it possible to move from obsession to healthy interest? I don't really know the answer to that, but I do know that I don't ever really want to be obsessed with something to the exclusion of life again. I guess I'll find out eventually if it's possible to be healthily interested in something that you used to be obsessed with.