Movies Movies!

Here are some videos of the boys from our trip. Both videos are from the hotel room.

First off, here is Logan singing a Jesus song. Whenever I pull out my guitar and ask him what he wants to hear, he yells "Jesus". I don't really know what song he means, so I generally play one of my Dad's, which seems to satisfy him.



Next, we have Cole performing a series of "gig moves". Gig moves were coined by Cole and Doug White together one evening. Cole was showing off his dance moves to Doug, and Doug responded by showing off his own dance moves. Somewhere in all of that, "gig move" was born.

Cole's signature gig move is one hand on the ground, one hand in the air above his back. Here, you see a "new" gig move. Cole seems quite satisfied with himself, I have to say, and well he should!

Ava Lynn Rollins

Ava Lynn Rollins was born on February 28, 2009 at 2:10 AM. Dalynn's water broke around 9 PM. Christi Jones, our doula, met us at our house and we all drove to the hospital. We arrived at the hospital around 10 PM.

Dalynn was amazing during this labor, even though she said it was her hardest by far. Ava was posterior which made the labor all the more difficult. Thankfully, though, Dalynn didn't have any back labor like she did with Cole (who was also posterior).

This being my 3rd child, I felt much more confident in my ability to help Dalynn labor, and Christi and I made a wonderful team, even receiving a compliment from our midwife, Nel. Christi and I were able to coach Dalynn to a delivery in which she did not tear at all.

Now, lest you think I'm taking any credit here, when I say "coached" we told Dalynn what to do, but Dalynn was the one that actually did it, and she did it with such control it was truly amazing. At the end, when she was pushing and Nel would tell her to stop, Dalynn would immediately stop pushing, no matter where she was in her contraction. It's this control that I believe allowed Dalynn to deliver her second child without a tear.

One of the amazing things about this delivery (besides the sheer amazement inherent in birth itself) is that Dalynn progressed from 5 CM to 10 CM in 20 minutes. After 4 hours of hard labor, Dalynn was only 5 CM dilated and was despairing. She told Christi and I that she didn't think she could do it, as she assumed that the labor would be hours more.

Lo and behold, Dalynn had what amounted to a 20 minute contraction that resulted in Dalynn almost fully dilating and Ava crowning. Ava was born shortly thereafter. I guess the Lord does know what we can and can't endure, huh?

In case you haven't picked up on it, I am truly amazed at my wife and am in a little bit of awe of her. She was truly amazing and I felt blessed to be a part of this birth.

So, what's it like being a girl's Dad? She's certainly prettier than my sons, that's for sure! She looks like a feminine version of Cole when Cole was born. I do feel more protective of her than I do my boys, too, though not by much. However, if you stop to put it in perspective, I feel a little more protective of her as she is now, when I've only known her for a few days, whereas I've known one of my boys for over 3 years. I think that says something... It's more important to me that people find her beautiful than it was for either of my boys, too. It's probably a lot of cultural baggage, but it's what I have to work with and I don't regret having it in the first place.

The boys have reacted very differently to her. Cole thinks she is amazing. Last night he sat on the couch, holding her, giving her lots of kisses and telling us how much he loves her. He talks a lot about how he likes being an older brother, too, all of the sudden. Since Ava has arrived, he's begun to act more favorably to Logan, too, and has even become a little more protective of him. It's quite wonderful to watch.

Logan, on the other hand, would probably prefer that we send Ava back to the hospital! He started throwing these massive temper tantrums when she came home. He's never thrown big temper tantrums before. Now, he'll throw himself on the ground wailing or stomp his feet and scream. It's actually quite funny once you get over your horror.

If I'm holding Ava, Logan will give me about 10 minutes and then he starts demanding that I hold him. He's also become much more of a daddy's boy. He's always been pretty partial to me, but now it's soaring to new heights. I find the extra attention from him to be a bit overwhelming!

He's also refusing to go to Dalynn on occasion. When Dalynn and I first got home, he wouldn't go to her at all. Now, he'll get her to hold him for a minute or two, then he wants me to hold him. Bless his heart, but he's having a hard time of it.

We've had almost 3 weeks of family help, and it's been wonderful. However, next week marks the start of when we'll have all 3 all to ourselves. When I'm home, it's not that hard, but I can only imagine how hard it's going to be for Dalynn for a while as she gets used to managing 3, with one nursing. I don't know why, but 3 seems like such a larger number than 2!

I'm sure it's all a matter of perspective.

The Quicksilver Knight and the Air Show

We had a really good weekend. Just plain and simple, it was a really good weekend.

Friday afternoon, around 6, I took Cole and Logan to the park. We're at a stage now where Cole pretty much does his own thing while I ride herd on Logan. It's not a bad place to be, and I can manage both boys with little problem over a wide area of space.

On our way home, Cole was a little disappointed to leave, so I decided to tell Cole a story about the Quicksilver Knight. Cole is the Quicksilver Knight (he was wearing a Quiksilver shirt, hehe), you see, and so I told him about all of the amazing things he had done. Like the time he rode through the forest and heard a damsel in distress. Upon investigating, he found her cornered by a dragon. He fought off the dragon and rescued the damsel.

Cole took to the idea like it was genius. All the way home, I regaled him with his exploits and reinforced in him how courageous and just the Quicksilver Knight is. Once we got home, I put a jacket on him and told him it was his Quicksilver Knight jacket, and we went back outside to see Dalynn (who was talking with some neighbors). Cole hurriedly told Mommy all about what he had done as the Quicksilver Knight. There was much posing and running around in the story-telling. It was awesome.

Later that night, Dalynn interrupted him when he was talking to me, and Cole said, "Mommy, when the Quicksilver Knight is talking, you listen!" It was rather cute, and we couldn't help but laugh. I'm sure we don't want to encourage that kind of behavior, but hey, once won't kill us (or him).

Another added benefit of Cole's new persona is that I have him convinced that all the scary monsters are afraid of the Quicksilver Knight. It's pretty cool to see him boldly walking into a dark room because he knows that the monsters won't get him, he's the Quicksilver Knight!

On Saturday, we took the boys to the NAS Oceana air show from about 10:30 am to about 1:30 pm. We went with our friends Anthony, Nerissa and Raymond. Both the boys were mesmerized by the planes and the noises. Neither were afraid of all the loud noises. We got the boys a helicopter toy (which Logan proceeded to demolish over a period of 24 hours) and a die-cast model of an F-4 Phantom II which is currently Cole's favorite possession.

That night, we went down to the ocean front to watch a dusk parachute jump. We had pizza at North End Pizza (which was good) and then headed out onto the board walk just in time to see a plane flying around that was setting off fireworks off of itself. Very cool. Then, another plane flew overhead and out jumped 5 men with boot streamers lit. They parachuted all the way down to a cleared space on the beach. We got right up in the front line of the circle and were able to watch two more waves of jumpers as they landed. It was all very cool stuff.

Sunday, we went to church and just took it easy.

Not a bad weekend to have before Cole gets chemo tomorrow.

Things to Be Thankful Over

Man, it's been about a month again, but this time, I'm going to have a positive post.

Things don't seem so overwhelming as they did, which is good, and over the last month I've remembered many things that I have to be thankful for.

Before all of that, though, let me point you to the story of a little girl named Kathryn Leggett. Kathryn has a very rare form of cancer and has just been moved out of the PICU at Duke, back into a regular ward bed. If you'd like to see God at work, read over the last week or so of her Caring Bridge page. Please keep her and her family in your prayers as they face a rough road ahead of them as Kathryn recovers from a bad bout of pancreatitis.

I took last week off of work and Dalynn, the boys and I went to Wilmington. We stayed from Friday to Thursday. It was a very wild, hectic week, but we all survived.

During our stay there, Cole and I got so spend a lot of time in the pool. He learned to swim with swimmies on (the little blow-up balloons you put on kids arms), which was a lot of fun for both of us. At one point, it suddenly struck me that if Cole had a line, we wouldn't be in the pool. We wouldn't be able to go to the beach. He wouldn't even be able to take baths as much as he does (which he loves again, by the way). So, I'm thankful that Cole doesn't have a line.

While we were in Wilmington, Logan came down with rotovirus (a kind of really bad stomach virus that kids can get, but that they can pass on to adults). It's a long story on how he got it, but he did get it from Cole. When Logan got it, he ran a 104.5 fever at one point and had these really nasty green poops. But, when Cole had it, he only had the nasty green poops, not the huge fever. If he'd had the fever, we'd have been in the hospital while they tried to figure it all out, so at least one night in the emergency room, if not a full admission. I'm thankful for that, too. I'm also thankful that Dalynn and I didn't get it (although my mom did). That would have been especially tough on Dalynn with her pregnancy.

There are a lot of other things I'm thankful for, but which I can't really go into right now, unfortunately. Just know that we are all doing well, and even though we're faced with challenges daily, we overcome them daily, as well.

News News News

Well, the big news on our front is that Dalynn is pregnant. Let me just say that we were doing everything we could to not become pregnant! As a matter of fact, Dalynn was going to have Mirena put in this month. Mirena is an IUD that also has a low dose of birth control. It's effective for 5 years.

That 5 years part makes me wonder at the timing of all of this. As in, this is the Lord's timing, and not our own. Both of us had been thinking, privately, that 2 was enough. We also had both stated that we didn't want a 3rd while Cole was undergoing treatment. Combine all of that with a birth control that is effective for 5 years, and perhaps we never would have had another child. It's easy to get into a frame of mind when complacency is an option.

To say that we were shocked is an understatement. I believe "floored" is more appropriate. Dalynn recovered faster than I did, though. It took me about a day to get over the shock of it all. It certainly didn't fit into any of my plans for our family right now. We certainly didn't need to borrow trouble...

But, trouble is what this baby is not, and I've come to accept that. The logistics of it all are still prone to make me feel like the bottom has dropped out from underneath me, but we have 8 more months to begin coping with all of that.

When Dalynn told Cole that "there's a baby growing in Mommy's belly", Cole responded with the statement, "A baby girl." He says "girl" like you would say "grill", it's quite cute. Logan has been vary tacit on the situation, though. We wonder if he's already lamenting the loss of his position as the baby...

Speaking of Logan, he's walking, now. And I mean, walking. He can motor around the house and has started playing chase with Cole and I. Normally, he's the chaser, as he hasn't quite figured out how to be an effective chasee. He still hasn't figured out how to stand up without something to lean on, but once he's up, he's off.

It's quite interesting to see how differently our children are developing. By this age (10.5 months) Cole was talking, but Logan isn't. I think he has a total of 4 words: "bye", "momma", "ba-ba" (bottle) and "dada". "Dada" he says very rarely. Conversely, Cole didn't walk until 13 months, while Logan has been walking for 2 weeks. So, in that regard, Logan is more advanced physically than Cole was. All the differences are quite fascinating.

Finally, discipline has become some kind of monumental feat. On the weekends, when I'm around all day, I feel like I do nothing but discipline (mainly Cole). Dalynn feels like she spends all of her time disciplining. If 5 minutes go by without me having to say something, it's quite unusual.

I think the difficult thing for us, and something we haven't figured out how to balance, is how to draw the line between being in treatment and being 2. We want to have grace if something is being caused by being in treatment. If Cole is just feeling run-down due to his chemo we don't want to drag him around the city. If he's cranky for the same reason, we would prefer to allow him to take a nap.

On the other hand if he's being demanding because he's 2, well, we want to nip that in the bud. It's just that often times, it's difficult to figure out which one is which. What makes it more difficult is that Cole is learning how to manipulate us! In the middle of being disciplined, he'll tell us, "I hurt!" or "I'm tired!". He doesn't, not really, but it's hard to be discerning enough to know when he's pulling the wool over our eyes.

I've never raised a 2 year old before, so I have no real frame of reference. I can't say for sure that raising a 2 year old in treatment for cancer is more difficult (though my hunch is that it is), but I can certainly say that raising a 2 year old in treatment for cancer is more confusing!

Well, it's been 2 weeks since I last posted, but this is one of those situations where no news is good news. It's so much easier to keep a regular posting regimen going when there's a lot of bad stuff (or even just some bad stuff) to report. When nothing of note is happening I consider that a good thing, especially considering the last 6 months.

I will report, however, that the great yard experiment is a success! I roto-tilled part of our backyard (about 2/3), seeded and fertilized it. I now have swaths of lush, green grass to rub my toes in. There are a few bare spots, but I've reseeded since then and that will hopefully take care of that. Having a "nice" yard is surprisingly satisfying, and I certainly take too much pride in it. But, I'll take what I can, hehe.

I've also maintained my swimming and am now up to 3/4 of a mile each time I swim. It took me two weeks to work up to 3/4 of a mile (which is 27 50 yard laps). Considering that the first time I went swimming I had to take a break to catch my breath after I was done with 4 laps, I consider what I've done to this point pretty monumental. Not only that, but two of the guys I work with are also going to start swimming, as well. Maybe we can have some kind of competition to spur us all on.

I can't say for sure if I've lost any weight yet, but I think I can tell a difference in my face and belly. It certainly seems easier to see my toes. I'm kind of disappointed that I never did take that "before" picture. I should still take one, and just make a note that it was taken at the 2.5 week mark. I also don't know what my starting weight was, nor do I know what my weight is now. For me, fitting into my clothes better will be a good indicator of success. Fitting into a waste size of 36 will be a resounding success (I wear a size 38 waste now, and that was getting a bit snug).

Logan is doing great. He took his first steps the other day, but has only repeated them once so far. I missed the first ones, but caught his second out of the corner of my eye. I expect that he's going to be a hard one to pin down once he finally gets his feet under him. He's already climbing the steps and he's quick about that. If you don't watch him, he'll zip up the steps before you can do anything about it.

Cole is also doing well. He has continued to recover his mobility skills and is now at a point again where he's running. It's not fast, but it's a definite run. He's climbing playground equipment again as well. I have to say, he made it through delayed intensification way better than I thought he would.

Tuesday sees him getting another dose of vincristine and a 5 day course of steroids, blah. It's hard to say which of those two I hate the most. Vincristine for the constipation and consequent enemas or steroids for how moody and hungry he gets. Probably the steroids. Still, 5 days is easier to deal with than 21 or 28. I will count my blessings there.

Dance Dance!

Baylee and Cole have quite a career as ballroom dancers, I'm thinking.

We're sad to say that Baylee and her family are moving this weekend. They have been such a blessing to us before, but especially during, Cole's treatment. Peter is in the Navy and is being transferred. That's a pretty common story around here, but it's none the less sad for all of that.

Cole and Baylee get along so well, and play so well together. I know that Cole will miss Baylee. Cole wants to go over there every night (though that might be to play with all of Baylee's toys, hmmm...).

So, we're sad to see them go, and wish them all the best! Hopefully, we'll all be able to get together at some point and do some catching up.

It's been a while since I posted, sorry about that. Let me give you a quick update on how things are going.

Cole is doing wonderful. He's now in maintenance, which is awesome. Not to say that things can't still be difficult, but we're through the official hard parts.

Just two days ago, Cole and I went outside and he played in the court with all the other kids just like a normal 2 year old. He's walking and climbing well, dancing (as you can see) and in general is a delight to be around. He has enormous amounts of energy, let me tell you. We often wonder where he gets it from. He just goes and goes.

Logan is also doing well, though he has a little virus right now. His first teeth are peeking through and he's mobile. There's just no other way to describe it, hehe. The virus isn't really keeping him down that much. He still follows Cole and I around while we're all playing.

I think one of the funniest things about Logan is that he gets frustrated so easy, and when he's frustrated, he starts yelling. He gets frustrated when he can't open the bathroom door. He gets frustrated if you don't turn the pages of a book fast enough. He gets frustrated if you don't feed him fast enough. All of these are accompanied by a very vocal declamation of his frustration. I think he gets it from Dalynn, to be quite honest... ;)

Dalynn and I are also doing well. We're trying to plan some family trips this summer to see our extended families. Scheduling is a little difficult, as we're limited in our windows for travel. Cole gets big chemo at the beginning of every month, and that pretty much shoots the next week down. He just doesn't feel well enough to travel. So, there's really only 2.5 to 3 weeks a month that we can do something in. Hey, at least we have that, right?

We'd like to take the boys up to DC this summer, as well, to meet their great-great Grandma Steger. She's in her 90s and still lives by herself just outside of DC. When we go, we'll take the boys to see the Natural History Museum, the Air and Space Museum and the National Zoo. Logan's a little young to remember it, but we're pretty sure that Cole will love it. I can't say what excites me most, taking Cole to see dinosaur skeletons or taking Cole to see real live rocket ships...

This is a video of our other child, Logan. I pulled out my guitar tonight and Logan decided he'd break it down for us.

I quite honestly don't mention Logan a lot, but I'd like to change that. As you can imagine we've been very focused on Cole's treatment, but we haven't forgotten about Logan at all. I'll give you a little update on him.

He's recently, in the past two weeks, started motoring around on all fours. You put him down in one spot, turn your back, and he's gone. A couple days ago, I put him down in the living room, then went to get some water. I hadn't even started putting the water in the cup when a horrendous crash came out of the living room. Dalynn and I ran in there as fast as we could, but Logan was fine. He was up on his knees, looking at the table he'd just pulled over, wondering what all the noise was about.

He also thinks his brother is the best thing since sliced bread and a very tasty teething ring. Logan, Cole and I spent the morning before I went to work playing. We were playing on the floor and Logan kept leaning over and trying to bite Cole. Cole was not a fan of this, "He's touching me!" However, if Logan wasn't trying to gum Cole to death, he just wanted to be near him. It's was very sweet.

I'll try to keep you all up to date on Logan as well as Cole.

Cole starts the second leg of delayed intensification tomorrow. He's done with the first leg, and is recovering well, though we don't know how the next leg will effect him. Our prayer request now is that Cole will not have any side effects from this next leg, specifically that he won't run a fever. A lot of kids run fevers as a side effect, and since they're neutropenic, that's a passport to the hospital until the fever clears up. Being in the hospital is very difficult, so we'd prefer to not go there.

My Brother's Love Child

This is Logan. He's adorable, isn't he?


This is an old picture, as you can tell from the creases in the scanned image. I'd say it's about 28 years old. From left to right, it's my, mom Susie, my brother, Todd, my dad, Wayne and me, Mike.


Now, look closely at Logan and then at Todd. Kind of wild, huh?

The running joke in our family right now (besides the effectiveness of the Leukemia diet) is that Logan is Todd's love child. Dalynn is horrified every time I say that. The first time I said it, she gasped and informed me, "Well, he's not!"

The fact of the matter, however, is that Logan looks eerily like Todd when Todd was an infant. Not only that but Logan seems to be following in the footsteps of Todd with his physical ability. I took this video just a few days ago. Keep in mind that Logan is only 5 months old in this, and he's easily palming balls like it's nothing.




Now, it's entirely possible that I'm just a proud daddy and Logan is just a normal kid, but I think that history has my back, here. Logan shares at least a quarter of the genes that Todd has, and maybe those genes have made Logan a pint-sized super-star! After all, Todd's an amazing athlete, so why couldn't Logan be, too? Oh, yeah, don't forget that Dalynn probably has some good genes on her side, too...

So, if you see Todd, let him know I posted this, and give him a look at it!

Spin!

Cole and Logan don't often play together, probably because neither of them are of an age to actually play with someone other then themselves. Last night was different, though.

We put Logan in his Johnny Jump-up a few nights ago, and from the get-go, Cole wanted to play with and in it. He's much too big, however, which was a very distressing factor for him.

Last night, though, Cole decided he wanted to play with Logan while he was in the Johnny Jump-up. This video is of that.