Discouragment

Man, it's been a month since I last posted. Where does the time go?

I have to say, though, that I'm very discouraged today. I imagine that most of all my discouragement comes from worry, to be quite honest.

Here's what I'm worrying about:

• Cole got chemo yesterday, so that's at least a week, probably two, of a little boy who is totally out of sorts.
• We had our A/C replaced yesterday. The whole kit and caboodle.
• We have to have extra work done due to the A/C being replaced (things like holes in ceilings patched and holes in walls patched).
  
• We're going to have to get a mini-van, and with the money we're spending for the A/C would have gone directly to a mini-van.

I know I shouldn't worry, but how do you stop something like that. It takes ridiculous amounts of self-control to not worry when it's weighing so heavily on your mind. Maybe the weighing heavily part is worrying in and of itself. I'm not real sure.

What I do know is that this morning I feel pretty discouraged. The funny thing is that I'm not even worrying about the direct issues. For instance, I'm not so much worried about finding a van, I'm worried about whether or not it'll be a good one and whether or not I can prevent us from being taken advantage of. Or, barring being taken advantage of, that I'll miss some kind of deal that would have been better.

That's how I feel with the A/C, too. I don't think that we got taken advantage of. We got multiple quotes and they were all within the ballpark of each other. I think what got me there was the financing. I keep thinking that there was a better financing option.

Fear of the unknown. Fear of what I might have missed. That's what is causing my worry. Kind of silly when I think about it "logically". It's a shame that my emotions aren't logical, huh?